Why Couples Counselling?
If you’ve got a happy, loving, intimate relationship, you can weather pretty much any storm that comes your way and pretty much anything life has to throw at you. But if you’re not happy in your relationship, then you’re just not happy, full stop. No amount of money, rewarding work, academic, career or business achievement, or other sources of pleasure, can make up for an unhappy relationship.
If you’re looking for relationship or couples counselling, it could be that you and your partner are arguing about the stupidest things and these rows can quickly escalate into something nasty. Or perhaps your relationship feels stale, and if the two of you were not so busy leading separate lives, you feel you would die of boredom. Sometimes there is a big issue, such as money, sex, infidelity, bereavement, in-laws or children, about which you cannot get your partner to understand you, or even listen to your point of view. You, or your partner, might be ready to give up altogether on any hope that you can put things right.
Beginning any form of counselling is daunting, but in my experience people find it harder to start relationship or couples counselling than individual therapy. Instead of exposing your inner-most thoughts and feelings to a supportive stranger, your partner will be in the seat opposite, ready to disagree with and possibly to rubbish what you feel you want to say. You might be afraid that the truth will hurt your partner and threaten the relationship, and by withholding your true feelings, or keeping a big secret, you’re protecting them and the relationship. But, deep down, you know that, whatever it is, it’s hanging in the air between you and tearing your relationship apart.
You might feel that, although you’re unhappy, or you know your partner is unhappy, and that makes you unhappy, you or your partner are not unhappy enough to do anything about it. You might hope that, in time, things will change. But most problems have a corrosive effect and, over time, the rot sets in. It’s much more likely, if you put off taking action, that you’ll leave it for so long, that one of you will have given up all hope. And then, even when there’s a still a chance, when there’s no hope, there’s no hope. Don’t make this mistake.
if you can gather your courage and put aside your fears about entering relationship or couples counselling, the rewards for you both can be life-changing. In many cases, couples get an immediate short-term boost, just from the sense of relief that something is finally being done.
What can you expect?
There’s a common belief that in relationships, and in life, that “Love is All You Need”. But more important than love is understanding. Over the course of your time here together, you’ll learn where your relationship has gone wrong, and how to put it right, so you can have the loving, fulfilling and happy relationship you’ve always wanted, but perhaps never dared to hope for.
At looking-glass counselling, we will work together to understand the roots of your relationship problems, explore your options together and help you gain insights into your personal situation while teaching you healthy communication skills to keep your discussions focused and fair.
When I finish counselling and ask couples to look back over their therapy, most admit that, although they knew I was trained to be impartial, they feared I would side with their partner. If this is your fear, then it will soon become clear that my responsibility is to the relationship, and both of you will get equal time, attention and understanding.
Couples Counselling will provide:
Opportunities to discuss what you each see as the problems, as well as strengths, in your relationship and examine existing patterns. Often there are long-standing issues that are causing current problems.
In-depth discussion of your personal backgrounds and experiences, including your history as a couple together, what you saw in each other in the first place and where you are today.
Understanding your feelings, building your emotional awareness, and enhancing your skills in problem solving through effective communication
Looking at your own personal behaviour and what needs to change for the relationship to withstand current and future issues.
Work on one or two specific problems you would like to solve, or the entire atmosphere of your relationship.
Couples Counselling can Help:
Rebuild trust & understanding
Understand relationship obstacles and how to overcome them
Improve collaboration and resolve conflicts